Hipster fashion apocalypse

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I don’t understand fashion at all. It’s like high-school type peer pressure, elevated to a cosmic level. If you don’t wear this style, this year, this way – well, you’re dead.

 

 

About a month ago I was walking to work and I saw a skinny local hipster waiting at a crosswalk. Shorts, porkpie hat, glasses.

 

 

He looked uneasy.

 

 

And, at a glance, I could tell you why.

 

 

He was last year’s hipster. He was just a little too out-of-date. And that’s pretty pathetic for someone in his (probably) mid-twenties.

 

 

How did I know this? I don’t know. I am horribly unfashionable myself. But I keep up, and I read things. (Mostly the New York Times and New York magazine. Holla!)

 

 

This guy looked a little too ready-made. He looked like a product. There was absolutely nothing daring or original about his clothing, His ensemble was dull. The hat was yesterday. The shorts were just embarrassing. The glasses – well, doesn’t everyone have those now? My friend Janet has those glasses now!

 

 

(Mind you, I was wearing a broadcloth shirt and pants from Kohl’s while I was observing this. I do not pretend to hipness.)

 

 

(But I can still judge others.)

 

 

(Holla!)

 


 

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About Loren Williams
Gay, partnered, living in Providence, working at a local university. Loves: books, movies, TV. Comments and recriminations can be sent to futureworld@cox.net.

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