Loren Williamses of the world, unite!

1805_princess


 

About a year ago I wrote about Googling myself and finding all kinds of other people with my name.

 

 

Well, I did it again, just for kicks, and I have to tell you that I appear to be proliferating.

 

 

First of all, I know you’re thinking that I didn’t just Google myself as a scientific experiment. Well, of course not! I am anxious to see myself come up first, and second, and third, in a Google search. I am hungry to become famous, without doing anything to deserve it. This is called “being a Kardashian.”

 

 

Loren Williams the fly-fisherman and expert on fly-tying is still easily the most popular of us. He dominates the Loren Williams community on Google.

 

 

Next down the line are Loren Williams at Georgia Tech and Loren Williams the Canadian artist. LJW/GA is a handsome Christian scientist who specializes in cellular biology; LJW/CA is a Francophone woman in Montreal who does lovely photography. Go figure!

 

 

A new figure is Loren Williams, the teenaged athlete from Iowa. There are lots of photos of him; he’s an all-state wrestling champion, I guess. Go figure! (The football player from last year is gone. He was “Lorenzo,” however, so he wasn’t really a full-fledged member of the community.)

 

 

Also still lurking around the edges is Loren Williams of Maryland, convicted of both real estate fraud and sexual offenses. And wouldn’t you know that he’s the only one with whom I share a middle initial?

 

 

I’m international, of course. In Scotland I am a type of mattress. In New Zealand I’m a competitive rower.

 

 

Every year, something new. Loren Williams the chemistry professor at Western Washington University! Loren Williams the dentist in Pikeville, Kentucky! Another Loren Williams the dentist in San Mateo, California!

 

 

(Also, a few months ago, Loren Williams, originally of Cheyenne, Wyoming died at the age of 69. Actually, according to the obituary, he “went home to be with Christ.” I hope he’s at peace.)

 

 

But the best new addition is Loren Williams from Tomball, Texas. I quote:

 

 

I was born on November 19, 1998! . . . I love animals. I have a puppy and a dog. They are so sweet! I have a sister who is 25 at the time. She is sweet… but you know how siblings can be!!!! I will be going into 5th grade this year and I am so nervous!!

 

 

Bless her heart.

 

 

The whole Loren Williams family is out here rooting for her.

 

 


 

About Loren Williams
Gay, partnered, living in Providence, working at a local university. Loves: books, movies, TV. Comments and recriminations can be sent to futureworld@cox.net.

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