Atheists and why you should avoid talking to them

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I found the most delightful piece of Sunday-school instructional material on Tumblr recently (see illustration above).  It’s a sketch of an atheist – “Mr. Gruff” – drawn as a goat, wearing a bathrobe, holding a cup of coffee.  “Bah!” he says.  “I don’t believe in anything!  I’m staying home on Sunday!”

Most thrilling of all are the instructions given below the illustration.  TELL YOUR PARENTS OR PASTOR IMMEDIATELY, we are told.  This is an advanced case, well beyond a child’s powers of conversion.  Atheists try to turn you away from God’s Word, so stay away from them!

My favorite bit: “Atheists such as crochety old MR. GRUFF think they’ve got it all figured out . . . But then why are they always so sad?”

Well, sometimes (as in my case) they have kidney stones, and sciatica.

Other times (such as right at the moment), we are moderately cheerful. 

I don’t know.  Am I an atheist?  I’m certainly not a Christian. It’s too complicated, and I just don’t believe all that stuff.  I’m not quite a Buddhist, because I haven’t given up all my attachments to the material world.  None of the other world religions hold any interest for me.  (Well, maybe Baha’i or Vedanta.  We’ll see.)  I am partial toward the polytheistic world of Hinduism, with a god for everything and everyone, cheerful and somber and serious as the occasion warrants.  But I wasn’t born to Hinduism, so I can’t really commit to it with any real feeling.

So I guess I’m Mr. Gruff after all.  

C’mon: he’s kind of cute, with his bathrobe and coffee cup.

Even if he is going to hell.­­


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About Loren Williams
Gay, partnered, living in Providence, working at a local university. Loves: books, movies, TV. Comments and recriminations can be sent to futureworld@cox.net.

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