Bristol Palin, defender of the traditional family

Bristol


I do not write about the Palins much, but this was far too delicious to pass up.

 

 

Bristol Palin – the little Alaskan hillbilly girl who did so well/poorly on “Dancing With The Stars,” and who had a baby out of wedlock by someone named Levi Johnston, but who now (for some reason) thinks that she’s the ideal spokesperson for teen chastity / traditional values – put this forth on her blog the other day (I give you the whole thing, straight from Patheos.com, and I feel strangely filthy for even having visited the site and given Bristol one more blog hit):

 

 

Is anyone really surprised by the fact that President Obama came out of the closet for gay marriage? What was most surprising is when he explained how his position (supposedly) “evolved,” by talking to his wife and daughters:

 

It’s interesting, some of this is also generational,” the president continued. “You know when I go to college campuses, sometimes I talk to college Republicans who think that I have terrible policies on the economy, on foreign policy, but are very clear that when it comes to same-sex equality or, you know, sexual orientation, that they believe in equality. They are much more comfortable with it. You know, Malia and Sasha, they have friends whose parents are same-sex couples. There have been times where Michelle and I have been sitting around the dinner table and we’re talking about their friends and their parents and Malia and Sasha, it wouldn’t dawn on them that somehow their friends’ parents would be treated differently. It doesn’t make sense to them and, frankly, that’s the kind of thing that prompts a change in perspective.”


Let’s pause for just one second.  When Christian women run for high office, people inevitably bring up the question of submission.  Once, Michele Bachmann, for example, was asked during a debate, “As president, would you be submissive to your husband?”

 

People automatically assume that a Christian female President isn’t capable of making decisions without her spouse’s stamp of approval.  (I should add female Republicancandidates –liberal women don’t get the same kind of questions.)

 

So are all those reporters who feared excessive family intervention in the White House all up in arms over the President’s announcement yesterday?  Um.  Not quite.

 

Liberals  everywhere are applauding him for his bravery and his wisdom.

 

So let me get this straight – it’s a problem if my mom listened too much to my dad, but it’s a heroic act if the President made a massive change in a policy position that could affect the entire nation after consulting with his teenage daughters?

 

While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads.  In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage.  Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home.  Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.


In this situation, it was the other way around.  I guess we can be glad that Malia and Sasha aren’t younger, or perhaps today’s press conference might have been about appointing Dora the Explorer as Attorney General because of her success in stopping Swiper the Fox.

 

Sometimes dads should lead their family in the right ways of thinking.  In this case, it would’ve been nice if the President would’ve been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee.


 

Let’s see if we can pick some main points out of this morass:


  •         President Obama changed his mind on gay marriage just because he didn’t feel like rationalizing traditional marriage to Sasha and Malia.
  •         In other words: President Obama is a big pussy who lets his kids push him around.
  •         Watching “Glee” makes you gay, or at least gay-friendly.
  •         Babies are best brought up in a traditional mommy-daddy household.
  •         Michelle Bachman would make a terrific president.
  •         Tradition is always the best guide for determining social norms.
  • –    Bristol is very up-to-date on Dora the Explorer.  I like to think I keep up with children’s programming, and I never even heard of Swiper the Fox.




 

Take a moment to absorb the delicious irony of all of the above.

 

 

Now let us turn to some very funny celebrity retorts to Bristol’s blog:

 

 

JWoww: “Bristol should keep her uneducated ignorant mouth shut… If Ur living in the past u wouldn’t have a kid w/out marriage #hypocrite. It’s 2012!” And later: “My best friend will get married one day and not just have civil union with his man. Stop hating people.”

 

 

Sherri Shepherd: “Sarah Palin educated Bristol… and not blaming Bristol, but I’m blaming Bristol being young & not exercising good judgment.”

 

 

Samantha Ronson: “‘We know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home.’ really bristol palin? how’s your kid doing?”

 

 

Lo Bosworth: “Bristol Palin – you so silly, girl.”

 

 

Perez Hilton: “‏I think I need to give Bristol Palin a good massage. Girlfriend needs to RELAX!!!”

 

 

Amber Riley, cast member of “Glee”: “We support you @BarackObama and commend you for taking a stand. #equalityforall #loveislove #gleesupportsObama”

 

 

To which fellow cast member Lea Michele responded: “Amen.”

 

 

To which I add my own little “Amen.”

 

 

(Bristol, babe: your mother is giving you bad career advice. You’re way out of your depth here. Go home.)


 

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About Loren Williams
Gay, partnered, living in Providence, working at a local university. Loves: books, movies, TV. Comments and recriminations can be sent to futureworld@cox.net.

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