The Romney campaign, as seen on Fox News


Sometimes it’s a good idea to sneak over into the enemy camp and hear what they’re plotting. It’s dangerous, of course; if they catch you, they will kill you.

 

So, on Sunday night, while on the treadmill, I tuned into Fox News for about ten minutes. The danger, in this case, was that I might lose my temper and my grip, and go flying backward off the machine.

But I survived.

And oh the things I heard!

It was a little panel discussion – Chris Wallace, Brit Hume, Juan Williams, Bill Kristol, and a couple of others I didn’t recognize – talking about the Romney campaign, and the recently-released Romney video.  A gloomier bunch of mopes you have never seen. Chris Wallace turned somberly to Hume and asked: “Was this video fatal to the Romney campaign?”

Hume looked sour (well, sourer than usual). “Not fatal. But it sure wasn’t good.”

This, from the loathsome Bill Kristol: “I’ve been working for twenty-five or thirty years to put forward conservative ideas, and then something like this happens, and it completely muddles the message we’re trying to put forward.”

(Translation: “For thirty years I’ve been putting forward a strategy to put our people into power, and then this idiot goes and actually spills the beans in front of a camera!”)

Slowly, and with great schadenfreude, I realized that I was hearing the formulation of Plan B: what to do if the GOP loses the election. If the Republicans go down to defeat, you can be sure that it will be entirely and completely credited to Mitt Romney’s weakness as a candidate, and his terrible campaign.

Well, all kinds of things can happen between now and November.

And, as Ann Romney whined the other day: “This is hard!”

(Not nearly so hard as listening to Chris Wallace and Brit Hume and Bill Kristol, though.)

And now, drag queen Mimi Imfurst doing a dramatic interpretation of Ann Romney’s statement:


Ann Romney, the average American housewife

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Here is a brief excerpt from a presentation given by Ann Romney a few days ago in Stamford, Connecticut:

 

 

Romney also recalled raising her boys solo until the birth of her fifth son.

 

 

“I didn’t have help for many many years. As a matter of fact I didn’t have help at all until the fifth baby was born and I had emergency surgery when he was four months old,” Mrs. Romney said. “And I was in bed and realized I couldn’t take care of five boys with Mitt working so hard and needed a little extra help. “

 

 

She offered more detail than usual about her life at home.

 

 

“I know what’s like to finish the laundry and to look in the basket five minutes later and it’s full again. I know what’s like to pull all the groceries in and see the teenagers run through and all of a sudden all the groceries you just bought are gone,” Romney said to the crowd. “And I know what’s like to get up early in the morning and to get them off to school. And I know what’s like to get up in the middle of the night when they’re sick. And I know what’s like to struggle and to have those concerns that all mothers have.”

 

 

Romney alluded to the fact that not all women can stay at home saying, “I love the fact that there are women out there who don’t have a choice and they must go to work and they still have to raise the kids. Thank goodness that we value those people too. And sometimes life isn’t easy for any of us.”

 

 

Did you get that?

 

 

Ann loves the fact that some of us don’t have a choice, and can’t hire outside help – even after our fifth child! – because we don’t have enough money.  (Why exactly she loves that is a little beyond me. She loves the fact that people struggle?)

 

 

The husband was pulling in mucho cash, and we are told to believe that Ann was worried about grocery money, and exhausted from doing so much laundry.

 

 

Give. Us. A. Break.

 

 

How much household help do you have, reader?  (Partner and I have only stuffed animals, who are utterly useless when it comes to household chores.)

 

We Democrats are hoping Mitt brings Ann out a lot more often on the campaign trail.  She really speaks to women.

 

In all the wrong ways.


 

 

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